Derpibooru

I have a treat for you today, and by "you," I mean grown men who want to have sex with horse toys made for girls. Yes, I'm talking about Brownies and the object of their fantasies, My Little Pony. Until recently, I was unaware that something like DerpiBooru.org even existed.

I'm not usually this late, especially for a party that attracts nearly 3.5 million people a month, but that's probably because I always go to parties where there are women. I'm not saying that all of the horseheads on this site are fat sheikhs who live in their mother's basements and play with every girl toy imaginable, but have you looked in the mirror lately? Yeah, I bet they all look like you.

All your best friends are perverts.

Friendship is Magic, that's what the title says. It's cheesy feel-good drivel designed for adolescent girls, but the Brownies seem to take it to heart. If there's one thing that can at least be said about you weirdos, it's that you have the guts to hold the occasional real meeting and your photos and images will instantly become the gold standard of internet comedy. Knowing this, they do it anyway. That's a pretty serious commitment to Bronny Homeboy.

DerpiBooru is another serious fucking commitment. Launching a Boolean image board is not rocket science, but it does take time, effort, and resources. Not only did a team of perfectly adapted fat guys create this site, but a very active community is constantly posting My Little Pony content.

Most of the sites I review for The Porn Dude are all hardcore porn and nothing else, which is fucking weird because DerpiBooru allows you to adjust the filter to show only kiddie stuff. Why is this happening? Are parents seriously going to let their children wander around a neckbeard site full of amateur pictures of anthropomorphic horses sucking each other off, hoofing it up their assholes, and having vulgar interspecies animal sex that is against the very laws of nature?

You may be able to filter out the overtly sexual content, but you will never be able to block the subtle and defiant sexual underside that lurks behind the seemingly innocent picture of a cute pink horse quivering in fear. Why is this poor girl trembling? Is it because a hairy, fat, unhygienic man is waving his smegma-covered little phallus? Look in the mirror again. We both know the answer to that question.

Family-friendly, cartoon horse porn

As a researcher specializing in erotic art, I wish there was a filter to keep child-oriented material off the main screen. There are various filters that hide pornography, spoilers, and "dark and grotesque" images, but none that block boring stuff. I'm here for the freak show, damn it.

As is typical of this style of image board, the top page is just a stream of My Little Paws that is constantly being updated. Whether it's the transsexual ponies touching each other, masturbating, and spraying hot horse cum all over the place, or the BBW horsegirls in trouble with a rape-y monster lurking behind them, or the superhero action figures and My Little Pony dolls posting pictures of them fucking each other I can't miss the bronies who posted pictures of superhero action figures fucking My Little Pony dolls. But the community here is very active and there is a lot of action happening in the discussion forums.

Many image boards have areas for people to talk about stuff, but those are usually ghost towns. Most of the forums here have had new posts within the last 20 minutes.

I checked out the General Discussion area, which seemed to be the most active, with nearly 4000 active topics. The most recent thread was to post a favorite image. You know what's weird? There's almost nothing explicit. One pervert posted a picture of a pony strip club orgy, but everyone else likes girly, boring pictures of big-eyed ponies crying, flying, looking adorably angry, slowly coming up out of their holes, almost erotic, unless they're cartoon ponies with no genitals. Some of the drawings are almost erotic, unless they are cartoon ponies without genitals.

Lots of My Little Pony erotica like you've never seen before.

But the fanfiction boards are another story. Almost every thread has an NSFW tag, with exciting names like Satan's Bitch, Sexorism, Sisterly Love, and Equestrian's Descent into Lust. This week I read a post called There's No Presents, Not This Christmas NSFW.

The story begins with a cartoon pony, a dragon, and a gang of griffins. Someone starts masturbating by rubbing his crotch with a balloon. The dragon had a bug sucking his hot, hard horns all through the night, and there was some really vague, one-sentence sex between another bug, a reptile, a pony, a cow, and two birds.

Basically, no detailed description, just one fucking awful paragraph. The author took the time to pull a lot of screen shots from the show that were visibly relevant, but hardly sexual.

I checked out more stories and was surprised to see that most of them were like this one. Usually when you find a thriving light erotica forum, it is filled with well-written smut about absolutely obscene shit. This shit is absolutely obscene, but it is so sloppy and short that one has to wonder if it is written by the demographic that My Little Pony is actually targeting. It's so vague that it's hard to imagine anyone getting off on it.

DerpiBooru.org (often misspelled as "derpybooru") is a strange place, but the bronies who go there probably already know that. If not, your parents probably took away your midriff and tried to convince you that this shit is not normal, but your autism would not allow it. It is obvious that this site is not for everyone, but it is also obvious that the users here are really into animated horses. If you're into My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, this is the site for you.