Escort Ireland Looking for Iris escorts from Cork, Dublin, Limerick, Galway,. Escorts - in Ireland. There are sexier women in the world than Irish women. Probably not. I mean, sure, Latin America is up there, too. The same goes for Japanese women. Let's face it, there are beautiful women in every country, and none of them are better than the other. It's just that they are seasoned differently. Both literally and figuratively. If you don't know what I mean, do the whole world a favor and eat more pussy, please.
But it is definitely true that Irish girls have a particularly sexy taste. Creamy, fair skin (more creamy, if you want), red hair (if you want to go with the stereotype), and a matriarchal power and attitude that many of these girls possess. They are just plain sexy. Plus, as you may have heard, gingers apparently have the juiciest pussies in the world. Believe it or not, I have yet to fuck a ginger. But it's definitely on my list to fuck. One of these days I'd love to fuck a ginger in Ireland, maybe someone would let me sleep on the couch. We'll have a few drinks and hold a petite woman. That sounds like fun. Let's go.
Needless to say, I like porn just as much as the next guy, because I critique porn for a living... I love good porn. But let's face it, porn gets old. That's a fact. Anyone who denies that is either a virgin, a porn addict, or someone who has completely given up on life. They are by no means mutually exclusive. Rather, it seems to make sense that one leads to the other. For example, a 40 year old virgin may become addicted to pornography and give up on life altogether in a few years.
Don't worry, I will ask you out.
Well, I'm not going to load a revolver or swallow a whole bottle of opium just yet. Bear with me for a while, I know you will. At least until this review is over. Because there may be an answer to your problems. A little elixir for your troubles. I have some very good news, my friends. You do not have to kill yourself. Because, against all odds, I am going to help you get laid today.
That's right. You heard him. You can get laid, it's about time, and if you're not on the verge of throwing yourself off a skyscraper, when was the last time you got laid? And I don't mean putting on virtual reality goggles and fucking in Fleshlight. I mean real, 100% natural, organic female pussy...a month ago, maybe twice. Don't tell me it was more than two months ago. ..... .6 months. Or longer ago. Oh, no, that's outrageous. Maybe you are irredeemable after all. 2 months is my limit. I can't go any further. I can't even do that...3, 4, 6 months is even worse than I expected, holy shit. Then I'm definitely going to have to get laid. That's sad, bro.
I'm telling you, pussy is expensive. It's not free, and anyone who tells you different is either a lying bastard or in denial. We all pay for pussy in one way or another. How much does it cost to take a girl on a date, $100, $200 if she's classy, same with an escort, only difference is you don't have to go out for a boring dinner while she tells you why she likes corgis, it doesn't matter, you can be first in line to go to pussy town. Sign me up, I'd live there if I could.
With a site like Escort Ireland, how could I refuse? If you're not a fan of genitalia, don't worry. There are plenty of sexy blonde bimbos, brunettes, ravens, Asians, Latin Americans, and beautiful black goddesses on this site. And they are all within a reasonable distance from you. Well, if you are in Ireland, that is. Prepare to have your mind blown by some of the sexiest professional fuckers in the galaxy. At least the home page looks promising, with pictures of gorgeous naked girls plastered everywhere.
Amazing, Professional Site Design
From the moment you arrive at the Escort Ireland website, you will immediately know that this is a professional job. First, to enter the site, you must verify that you are 18 years old. Confirmation" here is a broad term; just click "Enter" and you're good to go. This makes it safe for children. Once in, a page appears and actually looks pretty good. At the top of the page is the Escort Ireland logo, which looks very professional. The theme of the site is a nice blend of white, green, and pops of orange, a nod to the Irish flag.
Below the logo is the site's menu bar. From here, visitors can select Escorts, Massage, Domination, Reviews, Community, or Blog. Below that is an intuitive and easy-to-use search engine where you can type in keywords if you are looking for something specific. You can also enable geolocation to see all the girls in your nearby area. Or if you prefer, just find your city in the list and click on it.
Crazy search features
You can also filter or advanced search to browse girls by job type (escort, massage, domination), name, nationality, available now, verified photos, arrive today, allow reviews, incall, outcall, rates (low, average, high, elite), age (and is her age verified or ), and age (and whether her age is verified) to browse girls. You can also search for girls who are available for business trips, whether they like anal, whether they are smokers or non-smokers, whether they have access to showers, whether they are handicapped friendly, and whether they serve drinks. Plus, you can search by ethnicity, language spoken, sexual orientation, hair color, eye color, and a long list of specific appearance preferences because, well, you get the idea.
Oh my god. This is the most advanced search I've ever seen on a site like this. Escort Ireland has literally thought of everything and finally allows you to find your perfect little semen avatar. I am tired of typing out all the features this site has to offer, just the search function alone. I love that you can search by price range too. That is a feature that just makes too much sense, but is pretty rare among escort advertising sites.
This site has it all!
Once you get past the quick search section of the home page (you have to click to access the advanced), you will be greeted by a vast gallery of thumbnails of girls available nationwide. Click on the girl that tickles your fancy and you can see her details. Most girls have many pictures for you to browse through before deciding if you want to follow up. Some girls include videos as well, which is definitely a nice touch. You can find the area she services, her number, email, a button to PM her on the site, an option to favorite her, and an option to shortlist her. Of course, you can also see rates, statistics, communication information (language, responsiveness, etc.), facility information, and favorite sex acts.
I must say that I love the fact that Escorts Ireland offers a direct messaging feature. And believe it or not, many of the escort advertising sites do not offer this. I don't know why, it is just common sense. But Escort Ireland has thought of everything. You can also read the girl's "diary" (like a blog) and check out reviews from her patrons (if she has that feature enabled).
All in all, this is one of the best escort sites I have ever been to. I don't have many complaints. Shit, this makes me want to move to Ireland and fuck every beautiful bitch I can afford.