RubMaps

I love Asian massage, looking for a happy ending massage on Rub Maps. The idea of an erotic massage at the hands of an Asian dime piece keeps me up at night thinking about it. Mostly because I'm masturbating. Not because I'm worried or anything. It's the kind of thing you see people doing in movies or hear friends of friends doing. It seems like a fantasy to have a sensual oil massage, to have your penis jerked and sucked by a slut.

But it is. The hardest part of getting a massage with a happy ending is finding a store that does it. These stores are usually incredibly difficult to find because they don't want to be caught and shut down. You can't just walk into a regular massage parlor and have the sexiest woman in the establishment give you a blowjob. You will be kicked out and charged with harassment. And it's not like you can easily find out about it on the internet. You can find porn about massage parlors, but not the parlors themselves. But don't worry, there's a better way.

Rubmaps.ch aka RubMaps.com is a user-driven site that reviews, talks about, and shares photos of "erotic massage parlors" across the US. I put Erotic Massage Parlors in quotes because I am skeptical if all the places here actually have happy endings, or if they add all the massage parlors in your area, but I will get to that later.

As for when this site opened, I am getting more mixed signals than that college slut that keeps grinding on me despite having a boyfriend. The domain was launched in 2010, but its traffic was almost zero until February and March of 2019 when it hit 2 million hits per month. I don't know any more.

It's a very straightforward site. View the location or chat in the forum.

The site is designed in blue and white. Surprise and awe. I am really sick of this color scheme, but at least Rubmaps seems to do it well. The design is very similar to any forum site on the Internet. At the top you can search parlors by state or use the advanced search option to narrow down shit like "shaved pussy, hand job, ethnicity, hourly rate".

Below that is a header with options for "Forums, Slang, Blogs, Escort Reviews, and Contacts." Any page other than forums and contacts takes you to another site. It is not a bad site. It appears to be one of the site owner's or affiliate's personal blogs about massage parlor hookups. There you can learn massage parlor slang, read personal reviews, and check out blog posts. The forum is neatly active and has several different topics covering more general reviews, stories, and sharing experiences with others. It is the place to go to humbly brag about the Chinese dimepiece you can get semen on her face.

With plenty of filter options, you can find the perfect happy ending.

The rest of the site is dedicated to listings and reviews. You can narrow your search by nearby parlors, nearby large cities, or the newest parlors in the U.S., and that's pretty much it, unless you use the advanced search. You can pick a city so that you only get listings that have reviews that say they are doing erotic things, are active, open, or have photos. But nothing is guaranteed here. It's basically Yelp for massage parlors, so keep that in mind before you go to one of these places and whip out your penis.

Each listing will list hourly rates (possibly depending on the services you seek), what ethnic masseuse, what payment they take, when the last review was made, how many user reviews there are, and it will also list all contact information for the business. From there, click on the business to get additional details like pictures, Jacuzzi availability and semi-truck parking and read the reviews.

Unless you pay a hefty membership fee, you won't be able to read the reviews.

But there is a catch. There is always a fucking catch. This site is not completely free. You have to pay almost $20 per month ($149 per year) to read the reviews on the site. Having to pay for such a basic feature is outrageous. Imagine if they did that with Yelp. That means you have to pay a monthly membership fee to find out if this Taco Bell is any good. Maybe I am being too harsh.

There are no ads on this site, so you are paying the fee somehow. But at that point, I'd rather have ads than pay to see some terribly misspelled drivel from a 40 year old porno guy talking about his favorite massage parlor.

If you don't pay, you don't even get a rating out of 5 stars. It is very disappointing. If you don't want to be a member, you should use Google. It is just as useful as the free version of the site. The only saving grace is that you can filter by erotic parlor, so at least you know which stores might turn you on when it really comes down to it. Of course, there is no one-day trial version. Because that would ruin the sales strategy. You only need to see it once, especially if you are not in a big city. I live in an area with a reasonably large population, but there are only seven erotic parlors available for viewing. Half of them don't have a single review.

Excellent mobile experience for those seeking a happy ending on the go.

The mobile site works. It has the right layout, covering all the same bases as the desktop site. But there is not much here that makes having a great mobile site that much more difficult. You can easily search and scroll through listings on the go. For truckers and business people who are constantly on the move, this shit is a good thing. If you allow the site to track your location, erotic parlors will appear everywhere. Those are the people I recommend making premium. Because you never know what kind of shady stuff you might run into. But if you don't plan to travel and only have a few local spots, don't bother going premium.

My favorite features of ThePornDude

My favorite thing about this site is that it is quite unique. They have cornered the market on quality reviews about erotic massage parlors. I think it's a fantastic idea. I'm all for any site whose main purpose is to help horny people get aroused. Besides, I enjoy not having to pay to know what to expect and what to expect fairly. While the most important part of the site is surrounded by steep paywalls, at least you can see the stores in your area where people seem to have had erotic experiences. It gives you a place to start.

ThePornDude's suggestion.

Don't make people pay for a feature that the entire site is about unless you are willing to offer a free preview. No sane person would pay for an AV subscription without seeing a preview video. No one should buy your membership unless they can read one or two of the reviews for free; I'd hate to pay $20 and be disappointed by poor quality reviews. If the site allowed previews, I wouldn't have any major complaints about this site. Other than that, it is well done. However, the price is too high for users who are confused. At least include a $5 one-day preview or something like that.

Final Thoughts on ThePornDude

Overall, Rubmaps.com has done what it sets out to do. It is a good site. I would recommend anyone who likes to travel to become a premium member. I think this is the intended use of the site. Of course you can use it to find erotic parlors in your area, but it is not worth the steep asking price unless you just do it for a month and drop it. This is a well organized site with a decent forum. Check them out. You might find a sexy massage place.