RubPage

Rub Page was a bit of a surprise, as its name first made me think of old pornography printed on real paper. Masturbators of the older generation may still keep nudes under their mattresses, but who really needs a physical stash when they can access bigger and better collections online. I imagine the same thing is happening with erotic massage catalogs. Sure, your creepy uncle might have a handwritten list that he keeps folded up in his wallet, but it won't be as accurate, complete and up-to-date as the one you're likely to find online.

RubPage.com calls itself "the largest and safest global directory of erotic massage and body massages," which is exactly the big, bold statement I expect from any adult website. I was going to spit on this boast right away, but the site has been steadily gaining popularity since the beginning of the year. It claims to get 150,000 visitors a month, and I wondered how many of them were rubbing through those pages. So I tried to find myself an erotic massage.

Who's getting rubbed today.

This morning I got a link to Rub Page in my inbox and clicked on it without looking or reading the message. Perhaps because it was a Monday morning and I was still wiping the weekend from my eyes, I didn't immediately recognize that it was an erotic massage site. Sites like this tend to first show a wall of miniature masseuses and a list of places, usually with other sexy showcases, letting you know that this is not the right place to book a Mother's Day massage for your wife.

RubPage, by contrast, has a clean and solid Web 2.0 presentation, at least until you scroll down the page. The logo is simple, and the graphics surrounding the city and place search bars are similar to those that sell just about anything -- phones, social media, airline tickets, distance learning, and so on. If I couldn't read, I might have left without getting to the most interesting part, but the large text at the top lays out the purpose of the site: it's a directory of body massages, erotic and nuru massages.

I've heard nooru sometimes mentioned on other erotic massage sites, but RubPage.com pays much more attention to it. Below the search line, they devoted a full ten paragraphs of the first page to explaining what Nuru is. In a nutshell, it's a type of Japanese erotic massage in which a masseuse lubricates you with oil and rubs your own body. There are hypoallergenic seaweed-based massage gels, chakra stimulation and stress relief, but let's be real, most people are probably more interested in getting a hard katana from skin-to-skin contact.

The front page of RubPage.com is a sandwich of sorts, with the real meat of the site sandwiched between two big headlines about nuru massage. What the meat really is, well, is a hot thumbnail, location and ratings, and a noteworthy list of erotic masseuses. Apparently ugly girls don't do nuru massages, because all the girls here are gorgeous. There is no such thing as a "nubian" massage.

Jeannie, please rub my lamp erotically.

Before we look at the RubPage ads, we find that this site has a wide variety of women offering their services. There are slender brunettes, lush-chested blondes, Latina women with huge asses and a couple of sexy Asian women. Most of the women look in their 20s or early 30s, but there are a few mature women on the menu. Many of the women are happy to show off their nudity or semi-nudity, and if they show sexy T&A, you can tune in for sensual caresses.

One complaint is the lack of an advanced search option. You can select a location, but there are no drop-down menus or checkboxes to select body type, ethnicity, hair color, or other physical characteristics. There are a few options for what kind of massage you want, but that's about it.

RubPage.com has a list of massage types on the front page. They list 15 styles, from erotic Bodyrub for women to sensual massage, from bisexual massage to happy ending massage, from yoni massage to erotic massage. I was hoping these links would lead to a list of women in my area who offer these types of massages, but they don't. You can search by type of massage, by selecting the location where you are, you will only see a few listings: "Bodyrub," "Nuru," "Four Hands," "Therapeutic," and "Tantra."

I found a directory of erotic masseuses working in San Francisco on Rub Page, and there were workers in every category. The site lists independents and spas, but all the girls in SF are independents. I clicked on a pretty girl named Crystal and looked at her profile.There are icons showing benefits such as air conditioning, zero mattresses and parking, as well as a well-written article about her breathtaking tantric sessions and hours of operation.

You don't have to register to see RubPage's contact information, so you don't have to worry about giving your email address, and there's no paper trail. You can also call Crystal directly to make an appointment, and there's a link to her web page as well. Looks like you won't have to spend another lonely night alone.

Who else knows this sensual masseuse.

The only downside to Crystal's Rub Page listing is that one of the site's best features is not yet in use. Users can leave star ratings and reviews of massages and service providers to learn about other people's experiences before getting one themselves. Reviews have become one of the characteristics I use to make or make choices for an erotic massage and escort directory, as I would never buy a new webcam without reading a few reviews, let alone a nuru massage.

I like that the reviews share evaluations of service, location, cleanliness, and value for money. However, to leave a review, you have to register on Rub Page, and most users won't do that. Thank you massage fans for sharing your adventures with us.

User reviews are one of the best features of RubPage, but now I'm going to turn this review around and talk about the absolute worst feature of this site. Throughout my time on this site, I have had all sorts of problems with navigating it. I thought it was a conflict with the adblocker, but disabling the anti-spam plugin and changing my browser didn't solve the problem.

I don't know what's going on, but the Rub Page loads slowly, and there are a lot of blank spots on the page where nothing is displayed. Worst of all, the links are often unresponsive, sometimes moving after a few seconds, sometimes not. Hovering the mouse over them for a few seconds before clicking seems to work, but even that is no guarantee. Clicking on a sliding thumbnail may even display the wrong page.

The design is nice, but it has been the least user-friendly site in the last month. If they made it look like a normal 21st century site and added advanced search, it could be a near perfect directory of erotic massages. As it stands now, the cluttered, weird, slow-loading navigation would probably easily be a reason for frustrated perverts to reject it.

Hopefully the problem is temporary, because RubPage.com has a lot going on. It's a well-done massage directory with user reviews, so, as with listings around the world, you won't end up being duped by transsexuals. It costs nothing to use (unless, of course, it's your hobby) and requires no registration, so you'll have no problem seeing who's offering rubbing services wherever you are.