Xbooru

Xbooru.com is also a fucking mystery to the degenerate motherfuckers who associate with guys like me. According to the counter on the home page, the site has been around for nearly a decade and has had 154,445,334 visitors so far. I'm not sure what this site is about from the outside, because from the outside it's hard to tell what it's about: hentai, amateur photography, or something else.

Today, I'm going to try to sort out the learning curve for Xbooru. If you are trying to be one of the 4 million monthly views but don't know where to start, read on.

Big eyes, big boobs, big tails.

I went to Xbooru completely blind. The domain name gave me no clue, so I wasn't sure if I was in for some light lesbian flirtation or some hardcore fistfucking without lube. But the moment the site showed up, I knew I was going to see something completely different.

Next to the landing page is an animated girl in a Christmas outfit, which could be a seasonal ad for Nutaku. However, the art style matches the chick in the center of the screen. This slut is lying naked on top of some pillows. Upon closer inspection, she has cat ears, a flowing horse-like tail, messy legs, and no boobs.

You hentai fans like weird, you know what I mean? I'm not judging, but you wouldn't believe the picture I took of her in the bathroom this morning, would you? I'm just saying, don't tell your grandmother you want to marry or fuck a beastly girl with a pretty face but an ugly, deformed body.

Other than the word Xbooru on the furry whore's thigh, none of the letters are stylized at all. Not that there are that many letters, anyway.

X Marks the Spot

Below the girl with the big eyes and horse mane is what might be the motto of the site, but is completely meaningless. This is not a link.

There is a search bar, but I don't know what to search for. Above it are links to posts, comments, forums, and My Account. I don't have an account, so that narrows it down to three options. posts may be a major feature of Xbooru, as they have nearly 700,000 posts. I clicked on the link.

Suddenly the whole site makes a lot more sense. It appears to be some sort of sex-themed image board. Older wankers, accustomed only to free tubes, premium sites, and traditional forums, may not understand it at all. But the younger deviants, the /b/tards, will have no problem with it; think of it like 4chan, only slightly different in format and more focused on the perverted.

Ass Posts, Teen Posts, Barefoot Posts

Please familiarize yourself with Xbooru's Posts page. The comments section just shows comments from the posts section and the forum is surprisingly dead. The last post was 2 days ago and the one before that was a full month ago. Posts are where the action is.

(If you want to talk live with freaks like you, check out Xbooru's Discord. It's called Rule 34, an Internet rule that says there's a porn version of everything you like; nearly 20,000 members are registered, and about 25,000 were online when I visited.)

If you've ever seen an image board or domain with "chan" in it, you'll know that this site is a simple experience; Xbooru's layout is simple, almost ugly, but a grab bag of dirty content will get you rushing.

The submission page has an Xbooru header, a sidebar full of category tags, a few hands, and tons of pornographic images. Huge tits, glistening pussies, and bitches moaning from the sheer force of a thrusting cock are just one thing after another.

From the outside looking in, I thought this was a hentai site, but I'm not sure I would describe Xbooru as such. About half of the top page is anime bitches in a state of undress, which is much more hentai than your average porn site, but there are plenty of pictures. There are a few porn clips mixed in, but most of the collection is still pictures.

Click on a thumbnail to see a larger image. There does not appear to be any information on the image pages other than user comments. I was hoping to get a sense of how fast the site has grown by looking at the dates, but it seems to be one of Xbooru's enduring mysteries.

Whoever uploaded the latest image got a good laugh. It's a fake porn photo with a celebrity face superimposed on it, and it's very poorly done. You can always expect a lot of variety on image boards. Even if you can't play ball, everyone can play.

One Girl by the Wall, feat. Anus, Areola

The tags in the left sidebar seem pretty random; I suspect it's a list of Xbooru's most popular categories. The topmost tag, "1girl," has nearly 140k files, but the next one, "Against Wall," has only 1316. I clicked on the tags and watched the thumbnails dizzy. I went from the top to the bottom: 1girl, Against Wall, Anus, Areola, Ass, and Backboob, all the while watching the same animated hussy heaving against the wall, her ass in the air. Elsewhere, pictures of degraded sluts with letters scrawled on their faces and mouths widened with dental instruments squat in toilet cubicles. The same nude images of Marge Simpson, Lois Griffin, and Kim Possible appear over and over again.

The tag in the sidebar turns out to be a recently used tag. I think this is a good idea, but I think it would be more useful to show the most popular tags; Xbooru seems to have a large enough volume of posts that there are always a lot of new ones. Right now, new tags include Cum Explosion, From Behind, Anal Penetration, and Break a Booty Back.

Break a Booty Back.

You probably wondered the same thing I did when you saw this tag. Break a Booty Back, huh? Yeah, this is a weird thing to have to investigate.

There are 15 photos tagged Break a Booty Back. Most of the photos are of rabbits fucking rabbits, but one is of a dog man beating his bitch. In every photo, the animal female has a huge ass that dwarfs the rest of her body, and the guy is getting slammed from behind, with geysers of semen spewing out all over the place.

Breaking booty-back is the most incredibly specific kink I've ever heard of, but honestly, that's what I like about hentai sites; Xbooru is not strictly a hentai site, but their tag list contains some truly bizarre erotic images in their tag list.

One called Hyper_butt turns out to have that ridiculous animal butt. There are also at least a thousand images filed under Breast_Expansion. Tentacle Fuck, of course, Suggestive_fluid demands a visit.

Tags can focus on the almost trivial details of a photo or picture. Nerd porn sites tend to excel at such things, and this site is no exception. If you want bitchy Looking_at_viewer photos and pictures, there are 43k images to choose from. There is a bit of duplication, but not as bad as some sites. For example, there are 209 Public_sex pictures, 2553 Public ones, and 6788 Outside ones.

Xbooru's layout is going to turn off a large percentage of the porn viewing population, but it will appeal strongly to perverts who like video games, anime, and science fiction. This is nerd porn, with lots of hentai mixed in. It's not too complicated once you dive in, and free is a great price to access their growing stash.